Recently, I had a huge shock. I got offered a new job....in a new city....relatively far away from home....after moving back to Maine from Florida. For the second time in my life, I had to move into a grown up living situation, which came less than 3 months after the first time. I was scared and nervous. I don't like change. I am essentially a boring old man.
Albeit a badass "boring old man"
Well, this change has brought on some unexpected changes. Like, apparently, dishes need to get washed. I have a dishwasher, so I figured that part would be easy. And then I got unexpected lesson number 2. Apparently, when you use dishsoap meant for handwashing the dishes in the dishwasher, the dishwasher contracts rabies and starts foaming at the mouth. It was like a Maine snowsquall had hit my kitchen floor. I had to resist so very much urge to not turn my kitchen floor into an epic slip and slide.
Another important lesson I learned was the food needs to be bought. While I lived at my parents, food just always seemed to appear in the fridge. I assumed some sort of magic elves brought us the food in the middle of the night.
(Sidebar: I would like to thank my Ma for always being said magic elf. She always kept me from starving.)
And theres so very many choices. There are like 10 different kinds of oranges. Did you know that? Also, toaster waffles and bacon are both really expensive. So, the choice was not get bacon and toaster waffles or only get bacon and toaster waffles.
Guess which choice I made
My apartment wasn't the only shocking change to my life either. I also realized that now I have to find a new place to go to mass. My home parish is too far away so I don't really go there any more. The city cathedral was always my backup location. But the problem with there is going into the city is a hassle and a little hectic. Plus, the city is also fairly far to drive every week. Thus, I was left with few options. The Latin Mass parish that I had been attending in the city has a mass locally. I considered that since i love the 1962 Latin Mass. The Latin Mass at the local church was 8 am. So yeah, that wasn't going to work. The Lifeteen Mass was a choice, but it was 530pm, during football season. So that was out too. At least until February.
The local parish was an option. I knew some of the pastoral staff. The YM staff wanted me to join their team and start helping them out. It seemed like a genuinely good choice. I went to the most popular mass. It's held in this gorgeous stone cathedral-style basilica. Absolutely beautiful church. Also, the liturgy is very classically done and I like classical liturgies. Yet, the first time I went, because I was an outsider, I was treated like a unwanted criminal. They refused to allow me to speak to the priest. The ushers treated me with a great deal of disrespect. It was abhorrent. I had never felt so mistreated in all my years at a mass. At one point, I was seriously considering filing a report with the chancery and the pastor. After a period to calm myself, I realized that that wouldn't be very charitable and realized that it wasn't worth dwelling on. Needless to say, though, I decided I would not be attending the parish high mass. I knew exactly what Pope Francis had been preaching about when he said "We need to avoid the spiritual sickness of a church that is wrapped up in its own world: when a church becomes like this, it grows sick."
This! This is what we need!
The final option I had was the country parish. 20 or so minutes outside my new city, there was this little country parish. It was this adorable, white-picket fence style church. Definitely had a country town vibe to it. The sad part, however, was that for some reason, possibly heating costs knowing Maine, the mass was held in the church hall. It felt a little strange, especially with that adorable church just a few feet in front of the hall. Yet, the Pastor was an amazingly homilist. The parishioners were all very welcoming. Several people came up after to mass and asked if I was visiting the town or new to town. The young families all had kids running around playing together after mass. It felt like a holy, and welcoming community. A community that, sadly, was in a box shaped hall with metal folding chairs with very little music that was broadcast through tiny amps. The pastor and I even talked about helping restart their defunct youth ministry program.
This! This is also what we need!
Now, I'm not saying that every church has to have a golden altar and 30 altar servers in full dress and a concert pianist at the organ. In fact, the tiny church was very tastefully done for the options they had. I have, however, also worked at and attended mass at parishes that are intentionally minimalist/box churches. One of my former parishes hid its tabernacle in a reservation chapel that was in the far back corner of a dark hallway. Another had like this giant bay view window that served no purpose, since it had no view. It was just this giant window behind the altar. Another parish I've seen had like a glass, see-through tabernacle. Sometimes the modernist/minimalist parishes just look distasteful, especially when they don't reverence the Holy Presence of the Eucharist. On the other hand, though, I have experienced and know other who have felt unwelcome at many of the very classical parishes. Maybe not intentionally, but music ministers who care more about the music than leading the people in worship. Pastors who, most likely unintentionally, become aloof from their parishioners. And parishioners who seem suspicious of new or visiting parishioners.
This trip to the country parish made me think. We are not an either/or Church. We are a "Both/And" Church. We need the Benedicts and the Francises (Francisses? Frances?) We need to be a Church that invites the most broken. But we must invite them into the most beautiful thing ever: The salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ. We need to be a "Both/And" Church because Christ's love was "Both/And". God humbled himself to become man and welcome mankind to his kingdom. He would then go on to have the most beautiful ministry culminating in the most beautiful act of love and humility ever. God died so that we could live. Amen!
A "Both/And" love
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